It's Just Stuff

There is a small ceramic sign that sits in our kitchen.   I'm not quite sure where it came from, but we keep it around as a gentle reminder.  There are two kinds of people in the world- the ones who collect and hold onto things and the ones who are quick with the heave ho.  I fall somewhere in the middle but lean towards the heave ho end of the spectrum.  My husband, on the other hand, is squarely in the camp of holding onto things.  Here are the kinds of things that "collectors" are known to say.  "You never know when you might need that tool."  "Can't toss that magazine. There's an interesting article in it that I might need to look up some day."  "I know we have an overflowing spice cabinet, but I bought that special spice years ago for some exotic dish and we might want to make it again."  Has anyone in your household ever rifled through a garbage bag in case something important had been tossed?  Don't get me started. 

Like in so many things, the Internet has had a profound influence on the need to collect ideas/books/magazines.  Who needs cookbooks when you can jump online and visit Epicurious for a quick recipe?  Who needs to save This Old House Journal when every word published in the magazine is now available online.

After cleaning out numerous houses in our family, I have watched the process of distributing precious possessions take many forms.  In our younger married days, we were incredibly grateful that my grandparents were leaving their big house at precisely the right time for us to inherit some wonderful old furniture.  We still have a large dining room table with multiple leaves and 10+ chairs that was passed down to us from my grandparents.  It's made of mahogany and has been the table where our family has gathered for many holidays and special occasions over the years.  It was the centerpiece for a lovely and elegant dining room in my grandparents fairly formal home in Pelham Manor, NY.  But now I live in an old farmhouse in Vermont and my tastes have strayed from formal to more country and casual.  My other set of grandparents cleared out their county home in New Hampshire, which held many antique treasures.  I was happy to receive many of them.  And then last summer, we helped my Mom clear out their big Vermont home where we had spent many wonderful years with our growing families.  That process took months.  This time however,  the timing was different.  We were not in the accumulating stage of our lives but rather were beginning to shed belongings ourselves.

My husband's family also went through similar clean outs.  A classic moment in our marriage was when I opened a box that my husband had shipped home from Oregon after helping clear out his childhood home.  He clearly had run out of time to really go through the boxes as this particular box was filled with telephone books.  The price he paid to ship that box could have replaced many of the treasures that he saved with a newer model. 

So now we are trying to begin the process of shedding much of our stuff.  The beautiful china that once graced my grandmother's holiday table has not seen the light of day in my household for years.  The old paintings haven't really fit with the decor in the houses that we have lived in.  Last weekend we actually tried to have a yard sale, assuming that someone could actually use this stuff.  I didn't really want to take it to the dump and while you can donate much of the stuff, even the most generous Goodwill store won't take everything.  We had sports equipment and dishes, a set of Irish glassware that we have never used.  I had several bags- one, a practically brand new Coach bag that I never really used. We had all manner of collectible and some beautiful antique frames.  We had two couches that we bought some 20 years ago.  I have been "over it" with these couches for years already.  The list goes on.  But in our part of the world, nobody wants china or even a barely used Coach bag.  Who needs them when you spend your days mucking about on the farm or hiking and biking through this beautiful countryside?

We finally found a guy who would come and take the leftovers away.  He does this for a living- sorting through people's treasures and trash and then re-selling items.  We all yearn for an Antiques Road Show moment where some treasure that has been locked away in a box is discovered to be worth piles of money.  He offered us a whopping $25 to take it all away.  He told us that no one wants this stuff any more.  Old furniture is just not selling.  Very little is selling.  We even have a salt-water fish tank that my husband had custom made for us.  It was very expensive and was a spectacular piece of living art in our last house.  But when we moved to Vermont, I realized that I did not need to bring nature into my house.  All I needed to do was look out the window and there is more nature than a person could ever need.  So there is another large piece of "stuff"- albeit very expensive that is in my garage, waiting to find a home.

So I continue to stew and debate- what to keep, what to chuck, which books will my not-yet-born grandchildren want to read.  Will the doll furniture that I have saved for years and years ever capture the imagination of a little girl again?  What about the grandfather clock that sits in my living room, not working, taking up wall space? Well that negotiation with my husband will have to wait.  These things don't happen overnight.  Of course if anyone is in the market for a gorgeous fish tank, the price is going down daily.   And as I keep reminding myself and my family- it's just stuff.