My Husband is Driving me Mad... part of the 8 legs and a Tail series

My Husband is Driving me Mad!

 

My husband is a rule-follower and a closer-upper.  I, on the other hand, am a rule-breaker and an opener-upper.  This we have learned on this trip.  What rules you might wonder?  Well, mostly the rules around pets.  There is a leash law almost everywhere.  Smoochy is a country dog who is not used to being on a leash or tied up and I like it that way.  I fundamentally believe in the maximum amount of freedom for everyone always. However, when we arrive at a campground, Michael immediately puts Smooch on a line and I pretty quickly thereafter take her off.  Granted, some campgrounds are very tight and it would feel dangerous to let her loose.  In Santa Fe, there was a healthy bunny population and Smooch is a hunter through and through so we kept her tied up there.  Last night in Tennessee, we were in a beautiful park, the Natchez Trace State Park which was nice and wide open.  We were near a lovely lake where Smooch got to swim and we were able to be a bit more relaxed on the leash rules. Yes!

 

The closer-upper vs. opener-upper issue has to do with the shades in our rig.  Remember, our Mini-Max is only 18’ long so it is tight inside. I am in favor of having the shades and the windows open as much as possible.  Michael, on the other hand, keeps closing them up.  I mean seriously, who’s going to be peeping at us through our windows?  It’s almost impossible to see in and even if you could, so what?  Maybe it’s all of the time I have spent backstage in the theatre with clothing flying in all directions and actors in various stages of dress and undress. (La Cage Aux Folles comes to mind).  Maybe it’s the skinny-dipping that I learned to love at my summer camp.  Or maybe it’s the time I have spent at Burning Man in the Black Rock City where clothing is definitely optional.  I simply don’t worry about people looking in at us.  Peep away people!

 

I guess Michael and I are a classic case of opposites attract. He, an introvert.  Me, most definitely an extrovert.  We were talking recently about how introverts have trepidation about rejoining society as the pandemic (hopefully) winds down.  Michael actually thrived during the many months of quarantine.  He loved the quiet and solitude.  He prefers to drive in silence.  If I were driving on my own on this road trip, I would be blasting show tunes, listening to NPR and audio books and podcasts.  But I appreciate that he is doing the driving so I nap a lot.  I did not thrive during quarantine.  I missed my friends terribly.  I enjoy quiet times too but also come alive from the energy of being with people.  This is why I love the theatre and my camp.  It is also why I miss my working life when I had a wonderful team with which to share my days.

It is also well-documented that I am the sunnier personality in this combo.  My cup is always half full and I always expect the best from everyone and everything.  My husband is the complete opposite.  Of course, being locked up together for over a year during the pandemic and then spending every second of every minute together on a six-week road trip is a good test for any relationship.  Fortunately, we still make each other laugh and hopefully, mostly, bring out the best in each other.  We are pretty evenly matched in Quiddler.   We both love to create things- culinary masterpieces, theatrical sets, gardens, and of course, a loving family.  We will probably avoid each other for a week or so when we return home but then we’ll start planning our next adventure.  

Eight Legs and a Tail- My Friends are Along for the Ride.

There is so much to share about our wonderful visit to Denver.  I could wax poetic for days about my grand-nuggets.  They are both delicious and it was pure joy to get to spend 3 + weeks with them and of course their parents too.  I also got to spend some precious time with my sister Amy and her wonderful husband Andy.  It was a delight to see how they are becoming full-time makers between Amy's felting creations and Andy's wood-working masterpieces.   I will write more about that leg at a later date but now we are back on the road.  I want to talk about the friends who are along for the ride.  We left our dear ones in Colorado and I wept for most of the drive to Santa Fe.  I cannot even describe how sad I feel to leave these precious children on the other side of the country.  For more on that, read my blog from a few years ago- The Dirty Secret About Grandparents. It doesn't get any easier.  But our first stop was a total blast when we had dinner with my old and dear friend Peter Zandan in Santa Fe.  My my.. the years slip away.  It felt so utterly comfortable to be with him and his friends, despite the almost 50 years (gasp) since we were in high school together.  Good grief, how is that possible? With a visit to Meow Wolf and a stop at the Agora, the shopping center that my family company owns, it was a very full trip. 

And then it was back on the road again to our next stop in Oklahoma.  We traversed a good stretch of Route 66 today.  On each leg of the journey, I have thought of my dear friends who come from this part of the country. When we traveled through Kansas on the way out, I thought of Mary Gaetz who comes from Salina.  From New Mexico today we drove into Texas and I thought about my wonderful colleagues Ally Fluke and Bryan Farrington who live in Texas. Tonight we are in Oklahoma and I’m thinking of my lovely friend Jenn Langhus.  Next we are on to Arkansas, where my talented friend Memory Apata comes from.  In Tennessee, I'll be thinking about Chris Kohn.  We will drive near Memphis where Michael designed their public library so that will be a treat for him.  And then onto North Carolina to visit with our in-laws.  What is better than in-laws that you LOVE to spend time with.  

So how lucky are we?  We are on an adventure.  We are still speaking to each other.  More on the trailer woes in another post.  We have dear friends who we visit and/or remember along the way.  And at the end of the trip, we will return to our beloved Vermont and so many friends who we can't wait to see.  For me, hugging my friends is at the top of my list.  I can't wait to return to a beautiful Vermont summer and re-connect with so many folks that I care about.  

We'll keep trying to capture the adventure.  So stay tuned.  And thanks for joining us on the journey. 

Eight Legs and a Tail- We Made It!

No Wifi!  Where's the power cord?  How about the dog food?  Where the heck did we put our toiletries?      Are those windmills? (that's an inside joke for my Man of La Mancha friends) This was the soundtrack  of the last days of the journey. 

The highlights of the last two days included an impressive  mosquito population in Indiana.  Clearly they have wintered there.  Here's hoping they don't continue the journey back to New England for the summer.  Then we drove by endless burnt fields in Kansas. This must be a Kansas thing as I've never seen a burnt field in Vermont.  My husband, who is a wealth of little known facts, regaled us with factoids on windmills, oil refineries and farming practices in the prairies of the midwest.  The windfarms are quite stunning. No tilting at windmills for this merry band.   We made a quick stop in Sharon Springs, CO for lunch on our last day.  You would have thought the year was 2019.  There was not a mask in sight!  Weird. 

Then we crossed over into Colorado.  What joy to see our two grands.  Everyone was so excited to see us.  Smooch headed right out to the backyard to hunt down the squirrels who frequent the bird feeder.  Mabel is entranced with the Trailer and is signaling that she wants to move in. We all went out for story time after supper.  It's pretty cozy.  We hope to do an overnight or two which will certainly be an adventure.  And Warren, who arrived in December, is now a big, roly poly, happy baby.  If there's anything more joyful than meeting a roly poly grand baby for the first time, I'm not sure what it is.  

So we will be here for a few weeks with a week planned at a campground in Golden, Colorado.  That will give us a chance to really try out the rig for more than a quick stop-over.  We'll see if we can't finally figure out where to put everything where we can find it. 

Thanks all for coming along on our journey.  Perhaps we'll do an update from Golden and later on our return trip home.  Happy Trails!
 

Eight Legs and A Tail- Smooch’s Tales from the Road

Look at that face!  Does that look like the face of a dog who would disappear into the forest in the night? Does that look like the face of a dog who would try to explore every culvert she comes upon?

My Mom has been doing most of the blogging but I thought it was my turn. I thought I should tell you what it’s like for me traveling on this great adventure out to Colorado. 

I have a pretty sweet set up. I have a very comfy bed in the back of the truck and I get to sleep in the big bed with my mom and dad in the trailer. That suits me just fine..

Last night  we camped at Daniel Boone State forest in Kentucky I went on a little adventure. Most of the time I’m tied up at our campsite but once in a while my mom doesn’t tie me up. I sit very innocently on the grass looking like I’m not planning to go anywhere. But last night my Mom and Dad were playing a game inside the trailer and they weren’t really watching me so I thought I would take a little walk-around. By the time they realized I wasn’t there it was dark. I could hear my dad yelling at my mom. He’s such a rule follower and I could hear my Mom calling to me with her flashlight in the dark. She sounded a little freaked out. But I came back soon enough. I also discovered so many amazing culverts. I love a culvert no matter where it is. My Mom didn’t particularly like me exploring in them.  She always says - you never know what you might find in there- especially in Kentucky. But that’s exactly why I do it. You never know what you might find. It might be something awesome.

Today we drove to Indiana. We are at the Harmonie State Park which is actually quite lovely. But here’s the most fun thing I’ve done all week. I got to swim in the Wabash River. Oh it was sweet. After each swim, I would go onto the bank and roll in the mud. That felt sooo good, like having a massage. So now we’re back at our camp- just chillin, getting ready to cook our supper.

Tomorrow I hear we’re going to really  put some miles on. We plan to have two long days on the road before we get to Denver. Boring. But when we get to Denver I get to see my Mabel and her new little brother. His name is Warren and I haven’t even met him yet but I love babies. I am also going to see Sydney, my cousin, the black lab. She and I are great friends and I’m also going to see my Aunt Ames. I’m very excited to see everybody. So that’s my report. See you on the flip side.

 Eight Legs and a Tail-  Take Me Home Country Roads

Day two on our grand adventure.  We arrived at our first stop after dark which was not ideal.  We were also flanked by two gigantic rigs which made us feel downright petite.  In the morning, there were lots of groups of guys playing frisbie golf.  We think there was some kind of tournament.  It actually reminded me of camp.  Being outdoors, lots of people having outdoor sporty fun.  It felt like where I am supposed to be. 

After a lovely stay in Pine Grove, PA, we got on the road early and headed for West Virginia.  The good news is that it's already summer here.  Well, okay maybe not, but it sure is warmer than in VT.  Now that we've arrived at the KOA campground in Sutton, West Virginia, it is raining.  Yup, having that awning would have been clutch.  But we'll get to it sooner or later.

Here's the really big news.  We had a great night sleep in our big old trailer bed.  In fact, all three of us fit quite happily. Smoochy slept down at the foot of the bed next to me.  She woke me up once or twice licking my legs.  What's not to love about that? But all in all, we were all pleased with our our set-up.  

Highlights of today's journey.  Apparently it's the first day of fishing season in Maryland as we drove by piles of trucks and fisherpeople out in the rivers.  It looked kind of sweet.  Too bad we didn't bring our poles.  And we are, after all, on a mission to get to CO. 

There must also be some kind of motorcycling rally as no less than 100 motorcycles drove by us.  I wonder if they're going where we're going? 

What I am most aware of is that we are finally breaking out.  After a year of staying at home, we are on the road.  We are chatting with strangers.  It is thrilling. I suspect many of our friends are living vicarioulsy through us.  So come along friends.   

 I am going to collect the lessons here for future posterity.  

1. Start the trip with an overnight with your very best friends. (the Hornets)

2. DO NOT drive near NYC on a Friday afternoon.

3. Don’t arrive at a campground after dark when you’ve never hooked anything up before.

4. Do play a fun game when you’ve settled into your cozy rig.

5. Invest in an awning for rainy days.

6. Always camp near kids who will play with Smoochy.

7. Remember that you love your spouse no matter what.

Eight Legs and a Tail - Packing the Rig!

The last road trip that I blogged about was aptly titled- Ten Legs and a Tail.  I traveled with two of my very best girlfriends and my trusty sidekick- Smooch.  3 Women x 2 legs each plus one four-legged friend = Ten Legs. The tail of course belongs to the dog.   On this trip there are sadly no girlfriends along for the ride. There is me, my husband, Michael and Smooch.  So, this saga will be dubbed Eight Legs and a Tail.  

 

This time we’re traveling in our Ford F-150 pick-up and towing a Little Guy Mini-Max travel trailer.   It is 17 feet long but comes complete with a kitchen, a bathroom and a sitting area that turns into a bed.  It’s going to be a cozy bed, but it’s a bed.  Anticipating that we may want to bring our grand-daughter Mabel camping with us in Colorado, Michael has also outfitted the back of the truck with a bed with a very long slide-out drawer underneath it.  This will give us another sleeping space and more room to store things. Michael has named this the dog house. We’ll see if he is relegated to the dog house on the first leg of the trip.

 

We’ve been packing for days. Buying endless pieces of gear for the rig- special tools, storage containers, new pots and pans and hoses.   The list goes on and on. If we learned anything on our first RV road trip, it's that having the right hoses is paramount.  See our famous blog about the big dump. 

There have been heated debates about our sleeping set-up.  I, being the queen of naps, have naturally tried out the bed  and decided that it needed some kind of mattress topper.  I’ve done lots of online research.  There are Facebook groups galore and people are very generous sharing their tips and modifications of their rigs.  There is almost unanimous consensus that you need a little something to soften the bed set up.  But Michael woke up this morning and pronounced that the memory foam mattress toppers were going to be a disaster and we weren’t even going to need them. HA!  We’ll see about that. He hasn’t yet even laid down on the bed.  This afternoon, we plan to bring all of the bed accoutrement to the rig and try them all out.  Not only must we decide if the mattress toppers will enhance the sleeping experience but we need to figure out what the heck to do with them when the bed converts to a sitting area.  

 

Fitting everything in is the supreme challenge.  Mercifully, the refrigerator is a good-size, at least as RVs go. But where to put the clothes, the dog bed, the dog food, the snacks, the toiletries, the towels, the electric bike, the chairs for sitting outside at the campsite, where to put everything?  This is one area where Michael excels.  It must be his architect's brain that allows him to pack things efficiently and neatly. Despite that, we will be packed to the gills for sure. 

Our plan is to leave tomorrow afternoon, do a modest three hour trip tomorrow and spend the night with our dear friends, the Hornets.  Justine was one of my companions on the last road trip so she will have a discerning eye for all things we are bringing along for the trip.  She'll make sure that we have our quiddler game, our wine, our flashlights- the essentials. 

Various friends are placing bets on when Michael will be sleeping in the truck or better yet, when we will give it up and check into a motel along the route.  I am more optimistic.  I think we are going to have a blast, make some new friends along the way, and see the country.  After all, what awaits us at the end of the journey is our sweet Mabel and her new brother Warren who we have not yet met.  I can put up with alot of discomfort, knowing those two morsels are at the end of the rainbow. I hope to continue blogging and share the adventure.  Stay tuned for tales from the road and as you settle into your own cozy bed later this week, think of us and wish us sweet dreams. 

What Joy to Sing Again

After the longest, most challenging year in most of our lifetimes, a group of We the People actor/singers and various and sundry friends gathered in a snowy parking lot in Hanover, NH.  Thanks to the clever technology developed by the Denney family in Massachusetts (#drivewaychoir) and thanks to the generosity of the Choral Arts Foundation of the Upper Valley who purchased the gear and is providing it to local groups, we were actually able to safely sing together.  It was glorious! It was thrilling! It was heartwarming! I am running out of superlatives. 

Our wonderful piano man, Matt McGrath, was inside on the keyboard.  He had even brought his sound effect machine so that we could hear thunderous applause after some of the songs.  I stood out in front of the building, looking down at the 20+ cars that had gathered and did my best to lead the singing.  I am no conductor.  At best, I'm a camp-style song leader, but I did my very best to keep us together. There were kids and dogs in cars and friends who had come along to listen and enjoy.  And then there were my intrepid singers.  We had sent lyrics sheets in advance of the songs we planned to sing and most people had them on iPads or printed in their cars. Each car was given a headset and a wireless microphone to sing into. This allowed the group to stay safely sequestered in their cars while the full sound was broadcast back to the headsets and/or the car radios. We weren't perfect. We forgot some of the trickier bits of songs and our pitch might have wobbled once or twice. But no one cared! We pressed on even through the most intricate songs. "One Day More" from Les Mis comes to mind. What a stirring song with multiple parts overlapping, sometimes in counterpoint.  Much to my amazement, we got through it with aplomb!  Then there were the more sentimental songs that fit the time we are in.  

"The sun will come out tomorrow, Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, they'll be sun" (Annie) 

"Try to remember the kind of September when life was slow and oh so mellow" (The Fantastiks) 

"Whenever I feel afraid, I hold my head erect and whistle a happy tune, and no one will suspect I'm afraid.   (King and I) 

"Kiss today goodbye and point me towards tomorrow, we did what we had to do, and I won't forget what I did for love, what I did for love." (Chorus Line)

We soldiered through some of the songs from our last three shows.  We sang songs from Working and from 1776.  Then we were all granted an enormous treat when our own Don Quixote, Ham Gillett, lead us in singing The Impossible Dream from Man of la Mancha, the production that never quite made it onto the stage a year ago.

Don Quixote speaks- "It is the mission of each true knight... His duty... nay, his privilege!.."

To dream the impossible dream,
To fight the unbeatable foe,
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go;
To right the un-rightable wrong.
To love, pure and chaste, from afar,
To try, when your arms are too weary,
To reach the unreachable star! 

You know the rest. I trust that you are singing along by now. Fortunately, I was far enough away from the assembled crowd so that no one could see the tears in my eyes. Even though our production was cancelled a year ago, on this day, in this place, with these people, we were singing our hearts out again.  Our driveway choir gave each person the joy of seeing dear friends, even from behind masks, and of singing together. It brightened a gray day on the cusp of mud season after a year like no other.

And finally "Five hundred, twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes. 525,000 moments so dear. 525,600 minutes - how do you measure, measure a year?" (Rent)

How can we measure a year like the one we have had? It will take a long time for many of us to leave it behind. We will move slowly with caution and undoubtedly will feel awkward as we try to get back to our friends and our fun. But there is one thing that is for certain. There will be music and theatre at the end of the tunnel. I hope many of you will be in the audience.