Wouldn't it be wonderful, for the dog lovers among us, if there was one dog who shared our whole lives with us? This is what many people hope to find in a partner or a spouse. But of course, that is not always how it goes, and sadly, it never goes that way with our beloved dogs. There is a theory however, that we actually have only one dog in our lifetime. It's the same being who returns to us in different forms to teach us lessons along the way. In my case, it was Morganetta, Punky, Noodle, Otis, Gussie, and finally Smooch.
We all have times in our lives of great transition. There's the time when you move out of your parents' house and start life on your own. There are the big passages of moving to a distant city and starting a new job and a new life. There is the monumental passage of parenthood. That one lasts for decades. And of course, then there is the big transition out of a professional career to a third act, whatever that may be.
When I consider how my dogs have walked the road with me through these transitions, I see clearly what their job was. In the wonderful book, A Dog's Purpose, the dog is reincarnated in different lives with different humans, searching for his/her purpose. But I'd like to think about one person's life and the dog that they love who accompanies them through each chapter.
My first beloved dog, Morganetta, a blond Labrador retriever, came into my life shortly after I had graduated from college. I was figuring out how to be a grown-up and make a living. This dog was the perfect dog to help me navigate my single-hood, my twenties, when I lived in a number of different places with different people. From three different houses on the ocean in Nahant, Massachusetts to a series of apartments in San Francisco with roommates and boyfriends and then back east to Boston where I met the man who would become my husband. She was a dog that everyone loved- devoted, flexible, always up for anything.
She was also the dog who gracefully made way for my husband when he entered my life and then moved over again to welcome my two children. I was utterly wrecked when she died at age 14.
The next set of dogs taught me some painful lessons. This was during the very stressful period of learning how to be a parent while working full time. The first one of these dogs, Punky, a chocolate standard poodle, was run over in front of our house at five months old. She had never ventured beyond the yard but spotted a squirrel on the other side of the road and made a mad dash. The sound of the screeching tires and my wailing stayed with me for a long time. I literally sobbed in my garage while my neighbor tried to spare my daughter from watching me crumble. We were all heartbroken and I felt terrible guilt for months and months.
Not to be deterred, we then got another dog, this time Noodle, a black Labrador retriever. She misbehaved pretty much full time. Whose fault was that? Hmmm.. It was not until my mother-in-law came to visit and watched my three-year-old literally climb onto the kitchen table to avoid getting bowled over by this dog, that I began to learn the next lesson. My dear mother-in-law looked me directly in the eye and said, 'you need to get rid of this dog." I was stunned. It had never occurred to me to get an animal and then give it up. But the truth was we were not taking good care of this dog. We had not given her good training. I was pregnant again and working full-time as was my husband, and we just simply didn't have the time and energy left over for the dog. More guilt. And the realization that there are limits to how many loved ones you can take care of- including yourself and your spouse. Mercifully, our next-door neighbor offered to train Noodle and find her a home which he did.
There was a bit of a gap before we got Otis, a black standard poodle. Along the way, we had learned that my son was allergic to dogs. We of course assumed he could probably live with a non-allergenic poodle, despite the admonition of our allergist, who told us there was no such thing as a non-allergenic dog. I would not be dissuaded. Otis was a good family dog. And he was soon followed by another black standard poodle who we named Gussie. We thought that two dogs would be easier than one. They'd keep each other company and tire each other out. It was pretty much a hump fest all day every day. For all of Otis' smarts and good manners, Gussie was neurotic and needy. Who knows what genetics or early trauma was at play. I remember when we went to pick him up, he was the last puppy in the litter. The minute I picked him up to hold him, he peed on me Could it have been another sign that I simply did not wish to see? Over time, it felt like I was the only person who actually appreciated this dog. Or better said, I loved him despite all of his annoying qualities. He taught me patience and to look for the best in others.
These poodles accompanied us through the years of parenthood, of raising our children. Busy lives, busy schedules and two dogs who went along for the ride.
Which brings us to Smooch. Smooch is three years old. I had been waiting for over 25 years since Morganetta to get another wonderful lab. We pondered getting a rescue as so many people feel that is the only thing to do. But finally, my husband said to me- "just get the dog you want. You know you want another lab." So, we did. I had recently left my company and for the first time in 30 years, I was not devoting most of my time and energy to a company. I was living full time in Vermont with my kids long gone and a blank slate in front of me. Enter Smooch.
If ever there was a moment to believe in reincarnation, this was it. She was Morganetta reincarnated. These two dogs were eerily similar in every way. They looked identical, they had virtually all of the same qualities. Perhaps it's the breed, but I also think it was us. We were so ready for this dog. We had lots of time to nurture her, to train her, to love her. She has learned to co-exist with our backyard chickens. She has learned to be a camp counselor with me during the summer. If ever there was a camp dog, Smooch is it. She is there for all of the kids who left their dogs at home. She is there to comfort the child who is feeling a bit homesick. She dispenses kisses all day long. We didn't name her Smooch for nothing. She is even the perfect dog to win over the child who was afraid of dogs. It is nearly impossible to be afraid of Smooch. She has taught me to savor each BVD (Beautiful Vermont Day). She has taught me to be present and to be outdoors
The lessons from my "dog" have been ongoing. Each chapter, in whatever form my dog has come to me, has taught me important things. Now I just need Smooch to live as long as I will. That will be the perfect end to the story.
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