Best. Facebook. Birthday. Ever!

Best. Facebook. Birthday. Ever!

It’s official.  I’m starting a new trend.  We’ll see if it catches on.  It has to do with celebrating your birthday in a new way- especially on Facebook.

I have been a loyal Facebook user for a long time and have grown to really enjoy and even anticipate the birthday love.  In fact I penned a blog several years ago on this very topic. What I love about it is hearing from so many people from different times and places in my life.   I revel in that connection- even if it is only once a year. 

This year, for a host of reasons, I was especially looking forward to it.  Maybe it’s the result of moving full-time to Vermont, away from so many friends in MA.  Maybe it has something to do with transitioning into a different chapter in my career and missing my former colleagues.  Whatever the reason, I was really looking forward to the day.  But an interesting thing happened.  I began to hear from lots of people beginning early in the morning.  Most of them sent a simple Happy Birthday.  That’s probably the most efficient way to make the gesture without too much of a commitment.  But I found is curiously unsatisfying.  It just felt a bit flat and empty so I decided to do something about it.  I posted that at this stage in my life I am much more interested in experiences and creating memories than anything else and so I wanted to spend the day remembering some of those great memories and how my friends were part of them.  I began by posting one word or in some cases one sentence about the person and our shared experiences.

I’m sure some people were a bit surprised to get my short reply to their birthday post.  Some jumped right in and began sharing their memories of our time together.  I quickly realized that this would be a fabulous way to spend the day.  I actually took the time to think about each and every person who I heard from. For some it was very easy to recall a signature thing about them.  Like my friend Louis.  Louis and I met in business, he, at an advertising agency and I, at a media company probably trying to sell him advertising.  Here’s what I remembered about Louis.  Whenever I would see him, he would open his arms and say, “Show me some sugar”.  I just loved that about him and that is what came to mind as I remembered him. 

Other people from very early in my life bubbled up- my dear friend Meredith. Meredith and I were best friends when we were in elementary school and were in a secret club called the Flying Eagles.  That was her memory and boy did it bring me a smile.  I remember our super secret meetings, and our custom designed t-shirts.  I don’t remember exactly what we did in our club of 7 year olds but we thought we were pretty special.  Meredith moved to France a number of years ago so my only connection with her now is through Facebook.

Another friend from high school remembered the many singing adventures we went on together. We both sang in the high school choir and travelled to All State chorus several times. She actually remembers us ending up on neighboring cots in the nurse’s office when we returned from one of those adventures.  Wow.  I wish my memory was that crisp. 

A more recent memory that came bubbling back was skinny-dipping with a friend after a soccer party at a very swanky Silicon Valley home.  Anyone who knows me well knows how much I LOVE skinny-dipping and to have to sneak around to do it makes it even more fun.  That party was probably the highlight of the two years we lived on the West Coast. 

A particularly special exchange for me was with my cousin Rob.  There was a famous recipe in our family that our grandmother used to make every Christmas.  The recipe was for peanut sticks, a delicious hors d’oevre that was a real labor of love as it took hours to make them.  That was the memory I shared with Rob and his very quick reply was “Jincie”, my grandmother’s name. So we each were able to spend a few minutes remembering our extraordinary grandmother.

There were lots of memories of shows that I have done over the years.  Facebook, as it turns out, is a fabulous place to stay in touch with theatre friends and see and hear about their latest and greatest artistic endeavors.  There were camp memories and parenting memories and work memories.  One former colleague wrote that he missed me every day. How good does that feel?

So why do I think my trend is bound to take off?  Because it takes what has become routine for many people and cranks it up a notch.  It moves it from being a day when you get a celebratory light touch from friends through Facebook and turns it into a wonderfully rich day of connection and memory.  For isn’t that what’s it’s all about?  Isn’t it just awesome to get to remember friends from every corner of your life- all on one day each year?  Whether this takes off or not, I’m going to stick with it.  In fact, from now on when I am moved to send a birthday greeting to any of my friends on Facebook, it’s going to come with a fun shared experience for us to remember together.  Who’s in?