Worthiness

Worthiness.. or What Happens When You Get a B- at Work

Once upon a time, a Board Member for an organization that I was working for, told me that it was too bad that they had hired a B- player when what they needed was an A player.  He was talking about me and I honestly think in that moment, he forgot who he was talking to.  At the time, I thought it was possibly the most stunningly insensitive thing anyone had ever said to me in the workplace.  I mean as a student, I always was pretty darn conscientious and always worked to get good grades.  A B- grade was never what I hoped for- with the possible exception of Chemistry that I felt lucky to simply pass at all.

There have been other bumpy periods during my career when I felt similarly maligned.  The most traumatic was after moving my family across the country for a job, I was replaced by someone that I had hired.  At the time, I was outraged, I was deeply hurt, but mostly I was just plain angry.  That wound has yet to fully heal.

But now I am beginning to see something that I could not see at the time.  Now I see that no matter what our skills and our gifts,  sometimes what we have is not what our organization needs at that time.  We may have had exactly what the company needed at one time, but things change, companies change.  And at different points along the way, the organization may need different kinds of skill and different kinds of people at the table.

Of course we all aspire to bring a range of gifts and skills that will continue to deliver value to our organizations, no matter what the circumstances.  When we're lucky, we can adapt with the needs of the business.  When we're really lucky, our companies will continue to align our responsibilities with our unique gifts.  More often than not, our egos get in the way and our pride does not allow us to adjust as the situation requires.   Sadly when we are unable to adapt, it's usually time to move on.

Here's the lesson that has been the hardest to learn.  Just because we are judged to be a B- player (or worse) at work, that does not mean that we are a B- player in life. No matter how people judge or criticize, we are still worthy.   How hard it is to hold onto our conviction about who we are, what we believe and what we know we can offer.   How hard it is to hold out to find the right place to share our energy and our gifts.

Perhaps this is a skill that comes with experience.  It is no doubt harder to learn early in your career.  But as a manager and a colleague I hope to always remember to acknowledge people's gifts and unique contributions and to never make them feel unworthy.