Shifting Gears Through An Identity Crisis
There are some who get through life with a “slow and steady
wins the race” approach. That would not
be me. The arc of my life and the twists
and turns along the way have always been made up of periods of wild activity, a
life jammed to the gills with commitments and obligations, interspersed with occasional
periods of slowing down. This last year I have taken the opportunity to slow
down…. kind of. I penned a blog last
year called, “A Report From the Slow Lane” on what it means to slow down. In another blog, “The Last Lesson my
Father Taught me”, I shared thoughts about the importance of slowing down.
Now "slowing down" is a relative term as some would
hardly characterize the last year for me as a “slowing down” time. I worked on a number of theatre projects, I
launched my Great Gifting Experiment last fall, I brought my beloved puppy,
Smooch into my life, and I topped off
the year working at my awesome camp, Aloha Hive. Directing the performing arts department for
a camp of 158 little girls can hardly be described as slowing down or
restful. But even within my year off, I
have had periods of extreme busy-ness as well as periods of less activity, more
reflection.
Perhaps most importantly, I have, for now, left behind the very
consuming career as a sales and marketing executive that I had built over three
decades or more. It begs the question-
(Cue Opening number of Chorus Line “Who am I anyway? “Am I my resume?”) Sorry folks, once a theatre nerd, always a
theatre nerd.
But how do I really define myself? I have always been an interesting stew of
different interests, pastimes and passions.
Being a Mom was an incredibly important chapter for me. The countless hours in the car and on the
sidelines of the soccer field will count as some of my most precious
memories. My career has also been
incredibly interesting and mostly fulfilling.
I have many former colleagues who I count as dear friends even
today. I am proud of much of the work
that I have done and the teams that I have managed and nurtured. So who am I when I’m no longer the busy
executive or the Mom with a houseful of kids?
I ask myself this question as I try to write my “headline” on LinkedIn
or Twitter. I have tried to break out in
the past while tackling this challenge and have included words in my headlines
like “rabble-rouser” or “spark”
I was at a camp reunion recently and saw many old friends
who I have not seen for a while. By the
end of the weekend, I was a bit weary of trying to answer the question about …
what I’m doing. What am I doing? Right now, I’m resting. I’m thinking.
I’m writing. I’m imagining. Would I take a job if it felt like the right
job, a job that would be challenging and fulfilling and put me back on a
team? Absolutely. Would I jump into another theatre
project? No doubt about it. How about
get another puppy. Hold on, sister. I’m not sure about that one.
Often in life when we are casting about for new
opportunities, we are advised to have an elevator speech. What’s my elevator speech? Well. I
might say I’m a marketing executive, a theatre buff, a camp counselor, a
devoted friend/wife/mother, a seeker, a chicken-farmer, a singer, a dreamer. Oops.. the elevator speech is getting a bit
long. Too bad. That’s what it is for now. The order might shift and the intensity
around one descriptor over another might change. But that’s the crazy mixed-up stew of my life
right now. Right now, I am not defined by one persona. It’s not always comfortable but I think it’s
where a lot of growth and learning happens. So if you’re looking for a fellow
seeker, or a marketing consultant or a director or an actor or a rabble-rouser,
hit me up. Who knows what might happen.
